April 2010

Liam and Connor have been playing with one of the boys, Jayvyn who lives in the neighborhood. He's a bit older than them (6), but they have fun together none the less. Connor just giggles at everything he does. Liam loves having an older kid to play "big boy" games with. Jayvyn sometimes forgets that despite his height and vocabulary Liam is only 3. He has patience for days with Connor, but can get frustrated playing with Liam.

This particular day was no different. Liam and Jayvyn had been playing a game of what I can only call extreme basketball. They had dragged the hoop into the middle of the yard and were trying to make shots in all sorts of ways. Through their legs, behind their backs, from on top of the slide, over the backboard. Now that Daddy raised the hoop to 5 feet, Liam, mind you, has trouble hitting when he's shooting from right in front of the basket, never mind with any crazy feat mixed in. Liam was trying to tell Jayvyn he had to make a shot a certain way. Jayvyn wasn't having it.

J: "No, Liam! We're doing it this way this time."
L: "I want to play this way, it's the rule."
J: "I'm making the rules."
L: "No, you're not!:
J: "I'm the BOSS, and I make the rules"
L: "That's fine, you can be the boss....'cause I'm KING of the boss *hmmph*"

March 6

I've been dreading this question since before I ever had kids. Probably since puberty myself. Every parent's favorite, I'm sure. I've been imagining when it would come, how I would answer, what books I'd use to help reinforce what Mark and I had so carefully explained. In all of my wildest dreams I never imagined I'd be answering this question: A) from a 2 1/2 year old or B) posed quite this way.

We'd been watching Bob the Builder a perennial favorite in our house. Bob was doing what he does, every, single, solitary episode; building some god forsaken thing or another. I don't know how this metropolis survives with one bumbling guy and his band of merry men...er merry machines and a female assistant to not only build every structure in town, but also do anything even remotely related to construction. Honestly, I don't think the residents of Sunflower Valley have ever even changed one of their solar powered, energy efficient, LED light bulbs without calling Bob for help. This guy must make a killing; but that's a different story...

Liam, after watching yet another building being erected: "Momma, who built me?"
Momma, after nearly spitting out her coffee in both fear and amusement: "Whaaaa?"
Liam: "Who built me?"
Momma: "Um, er, (thinking quickly) Daddy and I did. And God. We had help from God."
Liam, completely ignoring the God distraction I threw in there to sidetrack him: "Why did you build me?"
Momma: "Because we love you very much and wanted a little boy to play with and love."
Liam: "So...you guys put me in here (points to himself)?"
Momma, beginning to sweat and hoping it stops here: "Um, yeah, kind of. Yes."
Liam: "You guys did a good job."
Momma: "Thanks"

He pauses and give me a minute to sweat it out. I see the wheels turning and I hold my breath in anticipation for the next question.

Liam: "Who built you and Daddy?"

Whew. No, really. He stopped there. He just wanted to know who built a bunch more people. No questions about actual "construction". Nothing about what a "job site" might look like.

I hope this one will hold him for awhile. If not, I'm in serious trouble.

February 26

I think this one deserves to be filed under 'Well, ain't that the truth!'

After full day of driving each other nuts, the boys are still at it. I see Liam try, once again, to grab a toy before Connor can get to it.

Momma: "Liam, Do you think you could play nicely with your brother?"
Liam: "That isn't possible."
Momma: "What did you say?"
Liam, in all earnestness: "That is not possible, Momma."

February 15

Most kids want a pet. Liam is no different. He has been asking for a monkey. Yes, a monkey. I think it is due to his obsession with Curious George. I hope it is due to his obsession with Curious George. I have had a hard time trying to get through to him as to why a monkey isn't the best choice for a pet. I have explained how much work they are. How hard they are to get. How much happier they are in their natural habitats. No dice. The kid wants a monkey.

Today we were watching Sid the Science Kid when Sid started talking about a dog in the neighborhood.

Liam: "Momma, I want a dog for a pet."

YAY! I am happy that he is finally asking for a pet that is something he may actually have a chance of getting someday. I try to control my excitement when I reply.

Momma: "A dog? That's a nice pet to have."
Liam: "Yes, I'd like a dog to go with my monkey."

February 9

We had a few friends over for dinner last night. I made some pizza and a salad, nothing fancy. Liam, unlike most 2 1/2 year olds is much more interested in the salad than the pizza. Specifically the grape tomatoes in the salad. As soon as he realized the tomatoes were in the salad he proceeded to ask everyone at the table if they were going to eat their tomatoes.

Liam: "I can help you with your tomatoes if you want, Amy"
Liam: "Are you going to eat that tomato, Sherri?"
Momma: "Liam, eat some more of your pizza and then we'll give you some more tomatoes."
(Yes, I know this sounds crazy. What mother says this? Yes, son, please put down that healthy vegetable/fruit and have some more fatty junk food. I was just thinking of the protein in the cheese and the acid in the tomatoes.)
Liam, after a few (OK, two) bites of pizza: "More tomatoes now, Daddy?"
Daddy: "What's the magic word?" We've never used this phrase with him before, apparently...
Liam: "MAGIC WORD!"
Daddy: "Do you know the magic word?"
Liam: "Magic?"
Daddy: "Please. Can I have some more tomatoes, please?"
Liam: "Can I have some more tomatoes and the magic word....pleeeeease?"
Yeah, we'll be working on that one :).

P.S. Just a quick shout out. If you like this blog, try my other blog at:
http://dayinthelifekgp.blogspot.com/

February 4

After a long morning of mostly ignored requests and general disobedience (doesn't that sound like a punk rock band title, btw?) I was at my wits end. I left the boys downstairs for a moment with the instructions, "Momma is going upstairs to get some clothes for you guys. I will be back down in one minute. Please stay right here."

I reach the top of the stairs and open the door to the boys' armoire. No screaming, crashing, or other warning signs...doing well so far. Then I hear the telltale creak of the door at the bottom of the stairs. I whip around the corner faster than you can say "no more patience" and see Liam start to climb up the stairs.

Momma: "I asked you to wait downstairs, little boy. I will be down in one minute, if you take one more step up those stairs, so help me, I will put you in time out."
Liam, stops in his tracks (I told you he was smart), but looks quite confused: "I don't think I want to help you, Momma. I'll stay downstairs."

February 2

Random Conversations with Liam: Part 1:


Television: "...blah blah...my girlfriend was asking...blah blah blah..."
Liam: "Are you a girlfriend, Momma?"
Me: "No, bud, I'm a wife. A girlfriend is..."
Liam, interrupting: "Is Emily a girlfriend? She's a girl. I'm a boy and Connor is a boy."
Me: "Not exactly."
Liam: "I used to have girlfriend before. I don't want have one anymore."