April 2010

Liam and Connor have been playing with one of the boys, Jayvyn who lives in the neighborhood. He's a bit older than them (6), but they have fun together none the less. Connor just giggles at everything he does. Liam loves having an older kid to play "big boy" games with. Jayvyn sometimes forgets that despite his height and vocabulary Liam is only 3. He has patience for days with Connor, but can get frustrated playing with Liam.

This particular day was no different. Liam and Jayvyn had been playing a game of what I can only call extreme basketball. They had dragged the hoop into the middle of the yard and were trying to make shots in all sorts of ways. Through their legs, behind their backs, from on top of the slide, over the backboard. Now that Daddy raised the hoop to 5 feet, Liam, mind you, has trouble hitting when he's shooting from right in front of the basket, never mind with any crazy feat mixed in. Liam was trying to tell Jayvyn he had to make a shot a certain way. Jayvyn wasn't having it.

J: "No, Liam! We're doing it this way this time."
L: "I want to play this way, it's the rule."
J: "I'm making the rules."
L: "No, you're not!:
J: "I'm the BOSS, and I make the rules"
L: "That's fine, you can be the boss....'cause I'm KING of the boss *hmmph*"

March 6

I've been dreading this question since before I ever had kids. Probably since puberty myself. Every parent's favorite, I'm sure. I've been imagining when it would come, how I would answer, what books I'd use to help reinforce what Mark and I had so carefully explained. In all of my wildest dreams I never imagined I'd be answering this question: A) from a 2 1/2 year old or B) posed quite this way.

We'd been watching Bob the Builder a perennial favorite in our house. Bob was doing what he does, every, single, solitary episode; building some god forsaken thing or another. I don't know how this metropolis survives with one bumbling guy and his band of merry men...er merry machines and a female assistant to not only build every structure in town, but also do anything even remotely related to construction. Honestly, I don't think the residents of Sunflower Valley have ever even changed one of their solar powered, energy efficient, LED light bulbs without calling Bob for help. This guy must make a killing; but that's a different story...

Liam, after watching yet another building being erected: "Momma, who built me?"
Momma, after nearly spitting out her coffee in both fear and amusement: "Whaaaa?"
Liam: "Who built me?"
Momma: "Um, er, (thinking quickly) Daddy and I did. And God. We had help from God."
Liam, completely ignoring the God distraction I threw in there to sidetrack him: "Why did you build me?"
Momma: "Because we love you very much and wanted a little boy to play with and love."
Liam: "So...you guys put me in here (points to himself)?"
Momma, beginning to sweat and hoping it stops here: "Um, yeah, kind of. Yes."
Liam: "You guys did a good job."
Momma: "Thanks"

He pauses and give me a minute to sweat it out. I see the wheels turning and I hold my breath in anticipation for the next question.

Liam: "Who built you and Daddy?"

Whew. No, really. He stopped there. He just wanted to know who built a bunch more people. No questions about actual "construction". Nothing about what a "job site" might look like.

I hope this one will hold him for awhile. If not, I'm in serious trouble.

February 26

I think this one deserves to be filed under 'Well, ain't that the truth!'

After full day of driving each other nuts, the boys are still at it. I see Liam try, once again, to grab a toy before Connor can get to it.

Momma: "Liam, Do you think you could play nicely with your brother?"
Liam: "That isn't possible."
Momma: "What did you say?"
Liam, in all earnestness: "That is not possible, Momma."

February 15

Most kids want a pet. Liam is no different. He has been asking for a monkey. Yes, a monkey. I think it is due to his obsession with Curious George. I hope it is due to his obsession with Curious George. I have had a hard time trying to get through to him as to why a monkey isn't the best choice for a pet. I have explained how much work they are. How hard they are to get. How much happier they are in their natural habitats. No dice. The kid wants a monkey.

Today we were watching Sid the Science Kid when Sid started talking about a dog in the neighborhood.

Liam: "Momma, I want a dog for a pet."

YAY! I am happy that he is finally asking for a pet that is something he may actually have a chance of getting someday. I try to control my excitement when I reply.

Momma: "A dog? That's a nice pet to have."
Liam: "Yes, I'd like a dog to go with my monkey."

February 9

We had a few friends over for dinner last night. I made some pizza and a salad, nothing fancy. Liam, unlike most 2 1/2 year olds is much more interested in the salad than the pizza. Specifically the grape tomatoes in the salad. As soon as he realized the tomatoes were in the salad he proceeded to ask everyone at the table if they were going to eat their tomatoes.

Liam: "I can help you with your tomatoes if you want, Amy"
Liam: "Are you going to eat that tomato, Sherri?"
Momma: "Liam, eat some more of your pizza and then we'll give you some more tomatoes."
(Yes, I know this sounds crazy. What mother says this? Yes, son, please put down that healthy vegetable/fruit and have some more fatty junk food. I was just thinking of the protein in the cheese and the acid in the tomatoes.)
Liam, after a few (OK, two) bites of pizza: "More tomatoes now, Daddy?"
Daddy: "What's the magic word?" We've never used this phrase with him before, apparently...
Liam: "MAGIC WORD!"
Daddy: "Do you know the magic word?"
Liam: "Magic?"
Daddy: "Please. Can I have some more tomatoes, please?"
Liam: "Can I have some more tomatoes and the magic word....pleeeeease?"
Yeah, we'll be working on that one :).

P.S. Just a quick shout out. If you like this blog, try my other blog at:
http://dayinthelifekgp.blogspot.com/

February 4

After a long morning of mostly ignored requests and general disobedience (doesn't that sound like a punk rock band title, btw?) I was at my wits end. I left the boys downstairs for a moment with the instructions, "Momma is going upstairs to get some clothes for you guys. I will be back down in one minute. Please stay right here."

I reach the top of the stairs and open the door to the boys' armoire. No screaming, crashing, or other warning signs...doing well so far. Then I hear the telltale creak of the door at the bottom of the stairs. I whip around the corner faster than you can say "no more patience" and see Liam start to climb up the stairs.

Momma: "I asked you to wait downstairs, little boy. I will be down in one minute, if you take one more step up those stairs, so help me, I will put you in time out."
Liam, stops in his tracks (I told you he was smart), but looks quite confused: "I don't think I want to help you, Momma. I'll stay downstairs."

February 2

Random Conversations with Liam: Part 1:


Television: "...blah blah...my girlfriend was asking...blah blah blah..."
Liam: "Are you a girlfriend, Momma?"
Me: "No, bud, I'm a wife. A girlfriend is..."
Liam, interrupting: "Is Emily a girlfriend? She's a girl. I'm a boy and Connor is a boy."
Me: "Not exactly."
Liam: "I used to have girlfriend before. I don't want have one anymore."

January 21

Time out. Naughty chair. Punishment. No matter what you call it, we use it with an ever growing frequency these days. Liam is a big fan of pushing the limits. He gets in trouble for two reasons, he's testing or he's bored. I can see his wheels turning as he does whatever it is he shouldn't be doing. Will I get away with it? Am I really not supposed to do this? What if I try it in another room/with another toy/on another person? The long arm of the law is pretty good at catching up with him. Our "prison cell" is an average wooden dining room chair. It gets pulled up to the wall and Liam sits for two minutes while he thinks about what he did (a mother can dream, right?). I've heard various things come from Liam while he's in time out. Most are requests to get up or murmurings about what got him in trouble in the first place.

Liam, from time out...fourth trip today: "I'm going to listen now, Momma. This chair isn't very comfortable, you know!"

January 20

Okay, this may not be as humorous as most things that come out of my little boy's mouth, but for my own sake this tidbit needed saving. I made one of Liam's favorites for dinner this evening; tacos, rice, and beans. After sitting down to his plate and eating for a full five minutes without saying anything (minor miracle) he finally comes up for air.

Liam: "This is a delicious dinner. This is the best dinner ever."
Mark: "You really love tacos, huh Bud?"
Liam: "You are the best cooker ever, Momma"

How sweet is that? I reserve the right to remind him of this once he's had the opportunity to be cooked for by more than like five people :).

January 19

While playing outside in our crazy snow filled yard Liam was able to get to his playhouse. The snow reached nearly to the top of the door so he had a hard time opening it. After struggling for a few minutes he decided to get in the easy way and just slid in over the side. The snow was so high it was as if he dropped down into the house instead of being on level with the rest of the ground. Once he got inside he got down to business, literally. One of his favorite games is playing drive-thru at the window in the back of the house. Even Connor gets in the game pretending to gather the order for Liam.

Liam: "Momma?"
Me: "Yes, Liam?"
Liam: "What can I get you, sir?"
Me: "I'm not a sir, I'm a ma'am or a miss. Men are sirs."
Liam: "Okay. What can I get for you, sir?"
Me: "Liam! I'm not a sir!"
Liam: "Do you want to order something anyway?"

January 12

We had a very special treat for dinner last night. I don't know who likes it more, Liam or Daddy. It was a "Breakfast for Dinner" night. We had the whole spread; scrambled eggs with green peppers, potatoes, sausage, waffles, coffee (well that part was for Momma) and juice. Daddy was so thrilled with his fare he started singing aloud. Normally the boys love when Daddy is goofy, which happens fairly often as I'm sure any of you who know Mark can guess :P. Tonight Connor was thrilled and laughing his head off as Mark went on singing about random things. Liam, however, was in a more serious mood.

Liam: "Please stop, Daddy"
Mark: "Stop what, bud? Singing?"
Liam: "Yes."
Mark: "Why? I like singing."
Liam points to his Red Sox cup: "Because Daddy, it says right here, No Singing. See? R-E-D-S-O-X spells no singing. Sorry Daddy, no singing allowed."

January 8

This morning as we were going through the usual morning routine I mentioned it was breakfast time. Liam hasn't been feeling all that well so his appetite has been pretty weak. I figured I'd surprise him with one of his favorites for breakfast, knowing he'd eat pretty well.

Momma: "How would you like some scrambled eggs and toast for breakfast?"
Liam: "No, thank you. I don't want eggs."
Momma: "You don't want eggs? Okay, I'll make waffles and sausage instead."
Liam: "Can I have a salami and cheese sandwich, please?"
Momma: "No, pumpkin, I've told you before, salami sandwiches are not a breakfast food. We can have a sandwich for lunch, okay?"
Liam: "Can we have lunch for breakfast, Momma?"

January 1, Happy New Year!

File this under 'yet another weird thing my son wants to be when he grows up'...

Liam: "Did you do that when you were a little boy, Momma?"
Me: "I wasn't a little boy, bud, Momma was a girl when she was little. Girls grow up to be women and boys grow up to be men."
Liam: "So you weren't a boy like me?"
Me: "Nope. Daddy used to be a little boy."
Liam: "Daddy used to be a little boy and now he's a daddy?"
Me: "Yup. You're a little boy now and you can be a daddy when you grow up if you want to be."
Liam: "No. I don't want to be a daddy. I want to be Chuck E. Cheese."

December 23

While on our way to a Christmas party this evening we were caught in some traffic. Gotta love Providence at 5 P.M. Liam is chatting away in the backseat and suddenly decides he wants to be a dinosaur.

Liam: "RAWWWWR"
He does this four or five times, at top volume.
Momma: "Liam, do you think you could be a quiet dinosaur? Daddy is trying to concentrate on the traffic and it's really distracting when you yell like that."
Liam: "But Momma, I'm not a quiet dinosaur, I'm a REAL dinosaur. I want to be a gen-u-ine REAL dinosaur."


The Christmas party was great. I got to see all my extended family; cousins, aunts, uncles and such. It reminded me of when I was young, the way Christmas used to be growing up. One of my favorite family traditions as a kid was my Uncle Dick dressing up every Christmas as Santa Claus. After all the other presents had been exchanged and dinner was over, we'd hear the jingling of bells and the familiar "Ho, Ho, Ho" and down the stairs he'd come. Santa Claus with a big cloth bag over his shoulder. One by one he'd call each cousin's name and we'd have a seat on his lap and get our last gift for the day. The best part is there would always be a gift for my grandfather in the sack as well, the eternal kid at heart, although I think my aunts just loved making my Grandpa sit on his brother-in-law's lap year after year.

Liam had the opportunity to meet this Santa for the first time tonight. He was so excited he was wriggling in my lap. Before Santa even made it to his seat, Liam was talking to him,
Liam: "Hi Santa! Hi!"
Santa: "Hello, What's your name? Liam?"
Liam: "Yeah, I'm Liam."
Santa: "What's your little brother's name?"
Liam: "He's Connor."
Santa: "And what's your mother's name?"
Liam: "Momma"

Santa took his seat and called each child up by name. Most kids were too shy or too old/cool to sit with Santa, but when Liam's name is called he went right up and sat on Santa's lap. He took his present and despite his excitement still remembered to say thank you. Made Momma proud. He came back to me with the gift in his hot little hands. He looked up with shining eyes and said, in awe, "He knows my name, Momma!" After all the gifts are handed out Liam asked to say good bye before Santa had to go. He remembered to thank him again and then Liam turned to Santa and said"Merry Cwistmas, I LOVE you, Santa!" Have you ever heard a room collectively 'awwwww'? I honestly thought my aunts would melt into a collective puddle of sap right there.

December 20

Dinner consisted of a Liam favorite tonight. Chicken nuggets. Why is it that no matter how much nutritious food one feeds a two year old, even if said two year old LIKES nutritious options, the favorites are always the not so good for you items? Anyway, back to nuggets. Liam is chomping away, practically eating his fingers he's in such a hurry to get to each tasty morsel of chicken nugget. He will occasionally break for a sip of water or to get a spoonful of peas, but barely. Mark decides to tempt fate and see if Liam is willing to share. Silly, silly man.

Daddy: "Can I have a nugget, big boy?"
Liam, hand raised in the 'stop' pose: "Daddy, I really don't want to get upset."

'Nuff said. :)

December 18

The boys were working off some of their energy after dinner and before bath time last night. Oh, to have half their energy; I'd cure cancer, end world hunger, and actually mail my Christmas cards all before lunch. I digress. Liam was alternating between running around in circles telling me about his "fast running shoes" and riding his truck in circles pretending to be a fire engine, complete with life-like siren noises. Connor was taking turns trying his best to keep up with his big brother and taking the toys from the toy box one by one over the coffee table and then bringing them back. Connor got bored with his game and asked Mark to play the piano with him, in "Connorese" anyway.
Connor (translation in parenthesis): "Da." (Daddy)
Mark looks at him.
Connor: "Ba." Points at the piano. (Would you like to play the piano with me?)
Mark: "Do you want to play the piano, Connor?"
Connor: "Phffffft" blows a raspberry and starts quivering with excitement (HECK yeah!)

Mark and Connor start hammering away on the piano. Liam the firefighter/track star is still going in circles. This goes on for 10 minutes or so. Finally, Liam has had enough.

Liam: "Can I get some PEACE around here?"

December 16

We enjoyed the warm day earlier this week (60 in December, really?!?) by going for a walk. I walked behind Liam riding his big wheel while Mark held Connor. I didn't see the pile, I didn't hear the splat, but I sure did smell the unmistakable odor. Someone had stepped in something a neighborhood dog had so thoughtfully left behind. I checked my shoes, Mark checked his. Nope. We knew it couldn't be Connor and Liam had been pedaling the whole time. Then I noticed the strip of brown on Liam's big red wheel. Liam turns to look at me with his nose crinkled.
Liam: "Momma, I smell something. I smell something NOT good. *mumble, mumble*(while shaking his head emphatically) NOT good...."

File this under 'Duh':
After seeing a commercial about fireplaces;
Liam:"I don't like fire, it's too.....um....firey"

December 15

I sang Liam "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" for the first time tonight. He listened carefully, as always.

Liam: "Where's Town? Santa's coming there. Can we go?"

December 11

We took the boys to the mall today as it has been raining for two days straight and we needed something to do. Liam was totally psyched for the trip for the usual reasons, namely the pet store and a ride on the mechanical cars on the way out. He was also more than a little worked up over seeing Santa. He saw him from a distance last time he was there and hasn't stopped talking about him since. He has pretty much been practicing his answer to, "What do you want for Christmas, little boy?" for weeks. We've discussed the details, be a good boy, ask Santa for presents and he delivers on Christmas Eve. He's heard the songs, read the stories, and seen "A Charlie Brown Christmas". I figure he gets it, especially when he's so excited to see Santa so he can tell him what he'd like.

He waits in line, thankfully short, dancing from one foot to the other. The entire time the two families ahead of us spend their time with Santa Liam is either shouting and waving, "Hi Santa!!!" or trying as desperately a two and a half year old can to contain himself.

And finally, the last kid peels himself off of Santa's lap and Mark lets Liam free. He runs right up, checking only once over his shoulder to make sure Daddy is close behind.

Liam: "HI SANTA!!!!!!"
Santa: "Ho, ho, ho, Have you been a good boy?"
Liam: "Yep" Now starting to get shy looking anywere, but at Santa. He notices all the Christmas decorations surrounding Santa's seat. The toy train, the tree, the HUGE glittery presents. After making some inconsequential (to Liam) small talk, Santa gets down to business.
Santa: "What do you want for Christmas?"
Liam, with Momma's notes in parentheses: "I want a football (he has two already) and a truck (ditto, and too many to count). A digger truck (Ok, maybe not one of these specifically). And a dump truck, too (has a big one and a matchbox size). I want a mask (What? Um, what for exactly?). And a movie, uh, five movies. Bob movies and Curious (George) movies."
Santa tries some more be a good boy type small talk while Liam fingers the edge of one of those shiny presents, but is cut short.
Liam: "Can I have that present now?"
Daddy: "Okay, time to go."
Momma: "Say 'Merry Christmas' to Santa, bud"
Liam, begrudgingly, "Merry Christmas, Santa"
On his way out of the Santa corral, not out of earshot mind you, Liam lets loose.
Liam: "He didn't give me a present, Momma!!"

Apparently Liam missed the second step of the whole two step process of 1. Tell Santa what you want. and 2.Get it delivered on Christmas Eve.

November 23

The boys were playing in the living room with Daddy while I was making dinner this evening. I was preoccupied cutting up broccoli for Connor and thought I heard Liam calling for me.
Me: "Liam, did you call me?"
Liam: "Mommmmmaaaaa"
Me: "Yes?"
Silence.
Me: "Liam, what do you want?"
Liam: "I want something delicious. I want a delicious dinner, Momma."